"Home is where your rump rests."

7/7/11

Wise words, Pumbaa.  I love The Lion King. We watched it tonight in honor of Dani and Verity’s trip to Queen Elizabeth park this weekend (the one I’ve been to already). It is kind of fun to watch it and point out all of the animals I’ve seen here. And it’s still just a great movie. We have a gecko that doesn’t stick as well to the ceiling as he likes to think he does, so he is now named Zazu for his flying skills.

The HIV clinic has proven to be a difficult place for me to be. I honestly can’t understand why my heart aches so much there, when where I usually work is considered a pretty heart wrenching place itself. For some reason, I still see a lot of hope on my Aflac unit, and I can function, even in all of the sorrow that accompanies my days there.

Thursdays are Pediatric Clinic days. The appointments are only for pediatric patients. I sat in on a counseling session, and the kids were amazing. At age 5, they start getting counseling about the medicines they’re on, why they’re on them, how they got HIV, why they have to take them everyday, what they want to be when they grow up, and so on. The kids were beautiful and healthy looking, and answered with smiles and full understanding (it wasn’t their first session). Their caretakers also get counseling on how to discuss HIV with their children, and the best ways to approach the subject. Soon after, the kids ran to play with some bikes and soccer balls. Children will always be more resilient than adults.

I had a moment of severe wealthy white girl guilt when one little girl (Samantha) in a beautiful yellow dress bowed for me. I was so caught off guard, that I had to try not to laugh out of awkwardness. I wanted to apologize and tell her I’m not worth that, and she’s worth a hundred of me. But how do you even start explaining that?

The hardest part of my day was watching the HIV positive mothers bringing in their newborn babies to be tested for HIV. Can you imagine living in a culture where having children is of the utmost importance, but your doctors frown on you for getting pregnant and exposing your child? Let alone if your child is HIV positive how do you cope with knowing that one day you’ll have to explain to them how they ended up with that lifelong disease? And if the disease wasn’t bad enough, try the stigma associated with it even if you do get to school age (some kids get beat up for going to the school nurse for their therapy several times a day) or dating age or marriage age. Or if their parents die, and they go to another family, try the stigma there, when you’re costing money and time, and you’re pushed aside except for maybe the inheritance left to you, which is taken right away just to feed the family. The treatment of HIV and the access to drugs and the acceptability of condom use no longer seems to be the problem from what I’ve seen (at least in Uganda). How do you fix the rest of it, though?

I did have a few good moments in the day. After lunch, the clinic dentist, Maureen, said she had something for me. She pulled out a beautiful and simple royal blue and white sundress that she bought for me over the last weekend. I sat with her at the school screening last week, and had complimented her dress, and told her how much I missed my own, but had a hard time with sizes here. She shops a lot for other people to make some extra money, and she got me the perfect size in a girly dress that is my favorite color and makes my new tan look amazing. I don't think she'll realize that was probably the best gift I could get (silly as it sounds).  I got a little teary, and couldn’t thank her enough for helping me feel pretty, and even just thinking of me. I am undeserving (I felt better that she let me pay her for it, it is her side business), but “my cup runneth over.”

I’m thankful...
1. for kind people who gave me one of the nicest gifts I’ll ever know. I am blessed.
2. for the little person who sells ground nuts next to the clinic. I know it shouldn’t be funny, but it’s the funniest image I’ve seen in awhile. I was told his wife is actually quite tall.
3. for discovering new books found on the shelf at the guest house. There are a few that I actually wanted to read, so that’s promising for my weekend to myself.

Goodnight, my loves.