7/1/11
It’s July! I’m excited to be in the same month as my departure date, but I know that there’s still a good amount of time left, so I'm trying not to get too excited. It wasn’t a terribly eventful day. I spent most of it trying to write, but then I’d always find some new distraction, so not a lot of writing actually happened. Oops. That can be what Sunday is for. My stomach is starting to revolt in a new way. I have been having heartburn for several days now, and I kept thinking it would just go away, but today around lunchtime while in tears, I just decided to go to the pharmacy and find some version of an antacid. All they had was something kind of like Pepto Bismol, which helps, but eating is still kind of painful. I feel bad for making light of people who deal with it all the time, because it really does suck. It doesn’t help that I’m a wimp when I feel bad.
I finished rereading The Bean Trees tonight. I really like Barbara Kingsolver (she also wrote The Poisonwood Bible, I recommend both). She’s big on seeing people as people, not as lesser versions of ourselves, and she’s big on plants as metaphors, both themes that I like. The Bean Trees talks about our invisible systems for growth as people (also how plants survive and thrive in the desert), and I’m grateful that my system for survival in Africa is not so invisible. I have a mountain of letters and cards, tons of emails, a fantastic family, a clinic full of people, and a house full of roommates to help me survive here, and maybe thrive with a little more time. I am blessed.
To Meg and Susan-you have both quoted the same movie to tell me to lose every bit of myself while I’m here. I’m not going to lie, I hated that quote the first time I read it. I’ve worked really hard to get to this version of myself, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to give it up that easily. I think I’m just now starting to realize how I have already changed, and how I can change a little more before it’s time to go. I don’t think I’ve lost every bit of myself, and I’m not sure I like all the things that I have gained, but it means more now than it did. I hope that if nothing else, I’m a little more patient, a little less controlling, a little more assertive, a lot less ignorant, a little less willing to give up and return to my comfort zone, a little more tolerant, a little more willing to acknowledge that I desperately need to listen to others, and a lot more motivated to pitch a fit for more fairness in the world where it can be found.
I’m thankful...
1. for Toblerone. Anyone know if they sell that in the States? It’s amazing. Adam left today, but he gave us his leftovers, and that made my day!
2. for good books. I’m running out, and need to find more.
3. for an easy day. I like them a lot.
Goodnight All! You are loved!
For some reason I read Tolerance instead of Toblerone. Made me wonder what new level of tolerance you've learned in Africa. :) They do sell Toblerone here. I see it in Walmart and Dollar General all the time. So glad you're learning more about yourself and your newly-expanded world. Exciting! I'm reading your blog almost daily and suffering/rejoicing with you. YOU are loved!
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