"It's gotta get bad before it gets good"

6/22/11-ish

I’m sorry I forgot to blog last night.  I stayed up too late talking to friends who were actually awake.  I’m not complaining, but I’m not sure that my ability to stay so connected is totally beneficial for my homesickness.  It just makes half a world away seem that much further sometimes.  And while I have good friends and good coworkers here, I miss the people who know me and connect with me and who know how to make me laugh and smile.  I’ll just be grateful that I at least have that online, and that in person is not THAT much further away. 

Anyway, so the meltdown continued.  I woke up several times early Wednesday morning with stomach troubles, and between that and my anxiety over no water and those stupid green charts, I just stayed home on Wednesday.  We had absolutely no water until about noon, and then we lost power until that evening, also.  I was still able to email, so I emailed Stephen, my UGA supervisor, and told him that I’d had enough and I was ready to leave.  I’m grateful for my meltdown even if only that it resulted in a long talk with Stephen last night.  In an effort to not complain, I hadn’t really been telling him how pointless I felt that work was, and with all of his many projects, I don’t think he realized what I had actually been doing.  He agreed to plug me into several different things, told me not to do any more data entry (yay!!!!), and said to instead focus on evaluation, research, and prevention related to the school health program all in a paper that might even be published at some point.  I’m not sure I can picture being published, but it’s a fun thought, even if I don’t get that far.  He said if I absolutely had to leave I could, but he reminded me that I’ve spent a lot of money and time already, and wouldn’t it be a shame to waste it.  Yes.  My mom also reminded me that if I were to leave early I would never forgive myself, which is true, too.  I’m willing to give it more time with this new stuff, but I would still rather be on a plane home, just for the record.  My favorite line from last night was “you need an uncle here, and now that I’m in Mbarara, you have that.  You call me for anything.  I’ll even take you to barbecues.” 

I came home from tea (it still trips me out that tea time happens here) to find power at home.  We had food delivered since it was starting to rain (again, cell phones here are a nightmare for communicating.  It took 15 minutes of back and forth and probably offensive slow and loud speech to tell him what we wanted), I kept down some chips and some toast, we watched our usual Sex and the City, and then I got to catch up with several friends.  Today is an at home research day, so I slept in a little to make up for staying up ‘late’ last night. 

Here’s my list.  I’m thankful...
1. for heart to hearts.  I need some serious lessons in the difference between complaining, and being assertive.  That’s something I struggle with at home.  Anyone know of good (not cheesy) assertiveness training? 
2. for peanut butter and honey toast.  It’s one thing I truly enjoy.
3. for no more stupid green charts.  I hope this works out.
4. for sweatpants.  They feel good in every country.